so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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