I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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