She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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