They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
