What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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