I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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