Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
