I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
