My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize