who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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