Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
