I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
