Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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