you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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