Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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