Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
