so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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