Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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