I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
