I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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