when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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