I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
