what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize