WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
