hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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