Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
