its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
