Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
