Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
