So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
