exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
