When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
