He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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