sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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