I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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