Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize