theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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