Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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