Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
