Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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