It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
