Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
