yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
