but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
