I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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