check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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