I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize