i think my mom watched the whole time
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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