some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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