My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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