Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
