meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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