I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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