D3 body, D1 cock
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This is not my ceiling
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize