So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i've created a new STD.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
