so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
