she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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