you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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