So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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