So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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