I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can you bring me the toilet please
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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