Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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