i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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