Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
