I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You made out with two different species that night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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