I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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