I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
