I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
