: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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