I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
