Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
