Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize