it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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