i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
