I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
